Star Wars: The Disney Era


#42

What? No Rey Tarkin? or Rey Crumb?


#43

No way the Moff ever got laid.

Also, you no read good.


#44

My bad on Crumb.

I bet Tarkin got laid plenty of times. Everyone knows women like men with the coolest “rides” and nothing beats the Death Star in that regard.


#45

The only ride the Moff ever got was, shall we say, sucking at the teat of the seat of power.


#46

Rey Binks.

I’m so, so sorry.


#47

@jabrams007 Hmm. Loser must proclaim and extole the greatness of the winner in an efflusive post, which must contain visual aids to help convey the greatness of said winner (i.e. me). Sound good? :slight_smile:


#48

And here I was thinking everyone was on-board that she’s Rey Solo.


#49

Does everyone in the Star Wars universe have to be related to someone else? What, are there only 4 families in the entire galaxy? If everyone is always related to someone we know, or is secretly someone we know in disguse, eventually the universe will become so insular that no new characters ever get introduced.

(Yes, I know that in this case, Rey is probably related to SOMEONE familiar.)


#50


#51

It is… their destiny.


#52

I also have problems with this, as it makes the galaxy feel really small.

However, making people related to each other has a long history in epic story telling. The Bible has many examples.

Founding fathers: Abraham and Isaac? Father and son. Jacob? Head of a different tribe, but fuckit, he’s part of the family too.

The twelve tribes of Israel? All brothers. Why not. It’ll make politics easier if we’re all related. But Zebulun means “dwelling” or “home” and isn’t even a human name? Who cares. Let’s just say the tribe once had a founder, and now Zebulun had 11 brothers.

Jesus and John the Baptist, both figureheads of similar but rival sects in Palestine? Let’s say… cousins? Sure. Great. Makes mixing them into a single religion easier.


#53

It would be amusing for her to be related to someone not from the original trilogy. Rey Dameron


#54

Rey Palpatine
Rey Dooku
Rey Charles


#55

Rey Charles? Didn’t see that one coming.


#56

Tarkin totally received sexual favors from Director Krennic.


#57

What if…
Her last name is…

  • dons Wayfarers *
    Rey Ban

YEEEEAAAAHHHH!


#59

The plural of Jedi is Jedi.


#60

The latest novel finally reveals Jar Jar’s fate.

No, he’s not killed. (Sorry for anyone who’s been waiting since 1999 for that.)


#61

I got too hyped up for The Force Awakens and read that first Aftermath novel so I could see how the new canon would fill in the gaps. Let me be clear, I don’t have incredibly discerning taste in novels but that shit was the most atrocious garbage I have ever seen typed on a page. This Jar Jar passage, from the follow-up Aftermath novel, was likewise so bad I almost vomited.


#62

Wow they made it worse in every possible way.