That’s understandable. Fighting isn’t really a pleasant thing, it’s messy, brutal, mentally and physically hard to do. There’s nothing wrong with not putting yourself through that, and wanting to avoid it if at all possible. And, as you say, the aftermath is usually a real pain in the arse.
There’s a lot of fights I’ve been in, that I…well, if I could do it again, I would try harder to avoid them. I wouldn’t necessarily take them back, or say I regret them - after all, I tried to avoid it, couldn’t, I won(or at least, didn’t lose) and in the end everybody survived, which is the most you can ask if it kicks off. But given the opportunity to do it again, I’d try harder not to get into them in the first place.
I certainly don’t blame you, though. If someone went in on my brother like that, I’d go in on them hard and fast as I could, reluctance to fight be damned.
Absolutely. It’s not civilized, it’s not sensible, it’s not a positive impulse, but it’s sure as hell there. It’s hard to describe it, there’s no intelligence involved, it’s something you feel in your chest and your gut, with no other element to it in the moment. You went head to head, on the most physical, animalistic level, and came out on top, we’re hard-wired to find that rewarding. The combination of adrenaline, satisfaction, and that feeling of power is pretty unique, and regrettably, far from unpleasant. I’d love to soften it with something like “You always feel bad afterwards, though” but I’ll be honest, I’d be lying, when push comes to literal shove and things kick off, I don’t. I’m not that good of a person.