I'm Saddened... (Board Games)


At best that will cut your sample size in half, you’re still relying on friends to identify the real good shit like Fast Food Franchise or Conspiracy.

Assuming everything you see is bad does not entitle you to a 90% hit rate on first impressions via Sturgeon’s Law, any more than the rest of us.


I almost wanna change the category of this thread form board games to flame wars.


“I’m so omniscient that if there were to be two omnisciences in the universe, I’d be both.”

-Scott, probably


I can tell the following things just from the box. It’s a Euro where you want to score the most victory points to win. Seems like the main way to get victory points is to achieve goals. My first guess is that those goals are either secret similar to private routes in TTR, or are public goals you want to snatch first like nobles in Splendor.

It claims to have no/low randomness, to there is probably some sort of action-taking mechanism. The top right of the board looks most likely to be related to that. maybe some of those cards get dealt out there. On your turn tou take/buy a card from there and then do your stuff. Maybe a mechanism similar to getting rooms in Castles of Mad King Ludwig, or getting civs in Vinci/Small World.

The spaces in the top left of the board have colors corresponding to the countries on the map. That’s probably the meat of the game. Moving around, getting some goods, getting money, trying to gather/arrange/build something that will result in goals being achieved and victory points being scored.

I feel like there are a handful of games that combine the Euro with moving around a map, but not too many. That combination already makes this interesting enough to investigate since it’s close to being unique, even if not entirely unique.

I would have to read the rulebook to see if this game has a special truly unique/interesting mechanic to set it apart from the pack. The really good games all have that one special trick that makes you go ooooh. Like in T&E when the lowest colored point you have scores.

Anyway, without reading a review or knowing anything, I can safely say I want to play this. I’ll read the rules when I get home and see how right I am.


See, I wouldn’t read any of that text. All I do is:

  1. See if the box tells me what kind of game it is, mostly from the pictures of the components on the back.
  2. Go to Board Game Geek and download the rules
  3. Read the rules, skipping all flavor text*

If the game passes that sniff test, then I’ll try it. That’s it.

*Cole Wehrle games excluded: I read all the text.


Cosmic Lord of the Galaxy Brain



We played Concordia at PAX South 2016. I was at the table with you and we played it together. I told you it was designed by Mac Gerdts, I probably told you “he’s the rondel guy.”


My main complaint about Concordia is the below average box. Hoping the big box of the Venus expansion is good and I can just gift the base game to someone.




Scott thought for the better part of a decade that I saw Matrix II with him in the theater.

I’ve never seen Matrix II. I definitely didn’t see it with him in a theater.


Congratulations, you just described pretty much every Euro ever made.


The goals are neither secret nor limited to who “snatches them first.” Everyone has access to all the goals, the cards just determine your own personal multiplier for the goals.

Wrong again.

On your turn, you play one of your own cards and perform that action. Buying one of the cards at the top right can only be done if you play the card that lets you do that.

If you read “lots and lots of Internet” and “every single post. Literally everything” and “somehow nothing escapes my eye” why do you have to investigate this game? Shouldn’t you know already that you like it? Don’t you already know how to play it? Why haven’t you played it already?

You are the All-Knowing Scott. Reader of the Entire Internet. Expert of All Things Tabletop. Able To Judge Boardgames Simply by Their Boxes. You’d think you’d have known and have already played a super popular game like Concordia already.


There’s no rondel on there. I don’t recall playing this game.

I’ve been told that I have.


I would only read reviews of tabletop games that went into a harsh examination of core mechanics and speculated on the “endgame” after repeat play.

I don’t think I’ve ever encountered such reviews anywhere.



Boxes are for throwing away.


Let’s try another one, and this time I’ll pick something easier, a game I know you’ve already played.

Behold the box for Hansa Teutonica:


Tell me where on the box you’d miraculously divine that instead of being a boring old “cube-pusher,” Hansa Teutonica is one of the most brutal and cutthroat Euros I’ve ever played, where you’re constantly cutting people off and displacing them.

Judging from the box, Hansa Teutonica looks like another generic Euro and there’s nothing from the pictures or description that would clue you in that there’s tons of player interaction.


Most people (even serious hobbyists) are just looking for games that are fun to play with their friends and different enough from what they have currently to justify buying.


I mean, for Hansa you’re not learning anything from the rulebook either, so…


To be fair to bad rulebooks if the Fury of Dracula rulebook didn’t suck so much I wouldn’t have spent those fifteen minutes thinking the combat didn’t completely suck.


Doesn’t that further prove my point?

Also, let’s not forget that neither you nor Rym even knew about this game until you played it at MAGFest. For two people who claim to be “experts” on all things Tabletop, you had no idea this game existed.

Neither you nor Rym knew about Glory to Rome. Not to toot my own horn here, but I was the one who introduced the game to Pete and Nuri. They loved it so much that they bought their own copy and introduced it to the rest of the FRC. That’s how you know about the game. Not from the Internet, not from Twitter, not from the box, but from a recommendation from your friends.

How many games has @pence introduced you to?

Your all-powerful omniscience when it comes to board games seems to be sputtering a little…


You don’t have to be the first one to know something to know something. If I learn something from a tweet, does that mean I don’t know it because I’m somehow relying on the person who tweeted it? No, that’s actually the point. I know things because I am well connected and other people are feeding info to the net, and I drink every drop, lest my cup overfloweth.