Dating


#101

This definitely reads like /r/iam14andthisisdeep had an orgy with /r/incels and invited half of /r9k/ and most of /b/.


#102

Premise is absurd, incels don’t have sex :stuck_out_tongue:


#103

I know what two of these are, one literally spells out what it is. What is r9k? Some board on one of the various chans?


#104

I thought it was a special mode that streamers use to control Twitch chat. Also, isn’t it the name for the method of typing that you use on an old flip phone?


#105

That was T9.

T FIFTEEN


#106

basically, yeah. It started off as some funny “Hahah, you can’t say the same thing twice” board and basically immediately became the sadposting board.


#107

Rk9 is terrifying, they’ve applied cult mentality to depression.


#108

Yeah. It’s pretty much where the incel movement was founded.


#109

How can I support my wife quitting smoking? We are expecting our first child and she’s cut down but today she asked me to buy tobacco for her.

Honestly I struggle because I don’t believe people can stop smoking. My parents both smoke despite trying to quit often and being disruptive when the did try. So when I say “You can do this” I don’t believe it and sounds hollow.

It doesn’t help that when she tries it goes the same way as my parents except I get the blame for my negativity.

I can’t be the one to motivate change with because it’s not my body and the force for change must come from within. I have to be the support, but my fear is that the cycle will continue. I’ll slip up and project a lack of faith, she’ll become hostile and some other issue will come up and mask the smoking issue, which I’ll fail at and it’ll be my fault again when she starts smoking again.

I know she’s more than an incubator and she needs to be treated as a human being, so really it’s just me projecting my hang up onto the situation and I need to let it go because my wish cannot be met.


#110

Smoking is miserable to try and quit. It seems to easy to quit yet it kicks the teeth out of you when ever you least expect it. You are right you never really quit smoking it is always there especially if you used it to deal with stress. No matter how you feel about it I can grantee she feels worse at each failure. The only thing I can say is do your best to be supportive, remind her why she is trying to quit. Find what it is she liked about smoking and what can be used to replace that. At the least try switching to vape or iqos, something like that to try and make it a bit easier. Otherwise just have faith and be supportive. This is coming from someone trying to quit.


#111

When my mom became pregnant with me she quit smoking instantly. She was aware of the damage it would do to me, and that was apparently all she needed. She started again after I was born, but then quit again when she became pregnant with my brother. After my brother was born, she did not start again.

Does your wife fully understand she is poisoning her child? If that isn’t enough to make her quit, no matter how painful it may be, that is troubling. For the health of your child you must seek professional assistance. You also can’t be smoking after the child is born or you will ruin their lungs.


#112

So, this may be the root of the issue.

You are objectively incorrect. Yes, absolutely, people can quit smoking.

I know you don’t believe it in your heart, but you need to try to reconcile this with fact. There are many tools available today to assist with this.

Addiction is a motherfucker, but it can be dealt with. In your wife’s case, she has a big advantage in that she has a supportive spouse.

Basically, take the part of you that thinks it’s impossible and strangle it. Whatever you need to do, isolate that from your interactions. If you continue projecting that as you say you have, it will make your wife’s struggle that much harder, and reduces her chance of success.


#113

My parents quit smoking when I convinced them to quit. That was about 25 years ago.


#114

My dad quit cold turkey one day out of spite from someone saying it was difficult, which should tell you more than enough about my father.


#115

That said, they have to want to quit deep down, even if it’s hard. Cause I’ve run into a lot of people who “want to quit” but are not able, because they don’t actually want to, since they are doing it for someone else.


#116

This is true, but that’s not a thing we can control. What we can control is our own role in the process, which is why I gave the advice that I did.

It’s still not guaranteed because, yeah, she may not actually want to quit, and efforts to help may be in vain.

Addiction is a motherfucker.