Since many on here will go in and out of the dating pool might as well start this up now.
I have found that I am getting older, and more set in my ways, there are many things that I just will not tolerate. As a younger man my libido would often rationalize things.
Me: I don’t know, she’s getting kind of crazy.
Libido: I know, let’s get our freak on!!!
Now that I am older and my libido has grown quieter.
Me: she looks good but she hates anime.
Libido: yeah… Is it bed time yet? I guess a few month dry spell isn’t so bad…
Certain features you looked for in a mate when younger are now reversed. Before age 35 ‘never married’ was a plus while above 35 it is a negative. After a certain age the view becomes, ‘what is wrong with you that you were unable to commit to a realtionship?’
Existence of children is also a huge factor based on the kids age. I expect someone at my age to have kids, hopefully around the same age as mine. I don’t dislike kids but mine turns 18 in a few weeks and I don’t want to spend the next decade (or longer) raising kids again. Call me selfish if you want but I am looking forward to seeing my expenses drop so I can put more money towards my retirement.
This is also why I prefer cats over dogs. As much fun as dogs are they also require a ton of hands on attention. With cats you can put out an extra litter box and overfill their food and water bowls if you want to go away for a weekend. You can’t do that with a dog.
I also have less tolerance for useless things that act as huge time sinks on a person’s life. Yes, I play video games and I know they are useless and time sinks but, I can do that when time provides, on my own time. Sports and religion are two things I have no space in my life for AND they are scheduled activities. Both ussualy kill sundays. Sometimes they also kill certain weeknights when a game is on and the person has to watch it.
Yes, I am doing a bit of venting, it is cathartic.
Tonight I have a second date planned with a woman who is divorced but never had any kids. We seemed to get along great on our first date and had some good conversations between then and now. Today, however, sports and religion came up. Sports was more direct while religion was just her offhand saying she wanted to get to church at some point today.
I shouldn’t be that surprised. She did tell me she came from a traditional Italian family. Thing is, I come from a mixed Italian family so my frame of reference is different. I didn’t realize that she was from the heavy Catholic, women can’t date until their 20’s type of family.
Now I face a conundrum. Do I call off the second date now or go and see if it is as bad as I think it will be? We have chemistry and we are both interested in each other. Thing is, unlike most of you youngins on the forum, the dating pool I swim in is very shallow. A pool where the good fish don’t stay in the pool very long. Not saying I expect perfection but am I just wasting both of our time tonight?
In the long run I would like a steady relationship but in the short term I am perfectly happy being single.