I just got home from the first AA meting I’d been to as an alcoholic. It was… difficult. Not so much in that “these are hard truths” way that I think a lot of alcoholics experience with AA as a “I’m not sure this mindset is right for me” way. The notion of a benevolent higher power is difficult to stomach with my last year of dedication to The Blind Gibberer. I suppose it doesn’t have to be a highest power – there could be some power more powerful than me but less powerful than Sithrak – but if I take away my own agency in my life I lose a huge weapon against my depression.
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While AA is maybe very helpful for some, it’s important to remember that it’s not backed by science at all. I’m not sure what to recommend instead, but I’ve read the AA steps and it’s freaking bull shit. Maybe a therapist?
I remember that episode on Penn and Teller’s BS where they said that an unofficial number of success is 12% while going cold turkey is also 12%. If it is for you, awesome go for it, otherwise tons of options out there that are willing to help out if need be. Do what you gotta do Liz you can do it.
I’ve been seeing a therapist for 8 years now. He actually didn’t think I needed to quit. He thought I had a dependency not an addiction.
None of which actually have considerably higher success rates than AA or cold turkey. There is no quality treatment for alcoholism. At least this one’s free.
EDIT: I also have a slightly different definition of success than most alcoholics. I just want to get sober and stay through my gender transition. Once that emotional clusterfuck is over I plan on at least trying to drink casually again.
I am not an expert in the whole AA/Abuse thing, so I come from a place of ignorance in this.
I do recall reading a few things when Claudia Christian was going through her addiction and apparent success with the Sinclair Method, which utilizes some medication. Maybe that would give you another avenue to research? IIRC it’s fairly popular in Norway.
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Something I should make clear is that I seem to be the only person who thinks I have a problem. My medical professionals consider me as having a dependency, not an addiction. As such, drastic treatment options would probably be ineffective at best for me.
I’m no expert, but what’s the difference between a dependency and an addiction?
I’m no expert either but I can offer this from my health class that stuck with me:
Cureent literature states alcohol consumption falls into four broad categories:
Use: What I like to think I do. Anyone time anyone takes a drink, they are using alcohol.
Misuse: this is where grandma can’t go to sleep without her hot toddy. Still use, but not really what alcohol is for.
Abuse: Continued use despite averse consequences. Though not necessarily addiction. A good example of one without the other is college party style binge drinking.
Adiction: loss of control of behavior.
These all generally apply to everything not just alcohol but I think it’s nice to have the terms defined right here.
As to where dependence fits in here. I don’t know. I’m not Lizzie. It sounds to me closest to misuse, but I’m no expert on anything or anyone.
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I was drinking daily, often in excess, but never to the point of loss of control. Somewhere between misuse and abuse, on Naoza’s scale.
4 chapters in and AA was clearly written for someone who had done a lot more drinking (and quitting) than me. A lot of the characterizations of the temperate drinker I can relate to, more than the characterizations of the alcoholic. It also seems to be designed for people who have never totally rethought their lives, which I’ve done probably three times now at the young age of 22.
From what I’ve heard from friends who went through the AA program (as secular people) was that the important part was community – That substance abuse has a social culture built around it, and that one must leave the substance and community around it, and replace it with a sober community. Parable of the weeds, so to say.
As to addiction vs dependency… IMO if you think it is a problem, it is a problem. Being dogmatic or pedantic about definitions is cold comfort when you feel yourself getting in the way of being/doing/feeling better.
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After reading all of the Big Book in one night and going to three meetings, I’ve come to the conclusion I’m probably not an alcoholic. I’m just someone who needs a break from alcohol.
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That seems eminently reasonable to me.
I think no_fun_girl makes a very important point above, in that community is probably the main part of AA that has any real merit. Even if you’re not an alcoholic and just want to take a break you might find that you will benefit a lot from being around people who will reinforce that choice rather than subvert it.
Personally I have huge issues with the “higher power”/“admit you are powerless” propaganda that AA peddles. I suspect that if I were to have a drinking problem and go into AA it wouldn’t be that great for me since my own issues with it would probably be barriers to the community aspects.
The thing is everywhere I’ve been so far the community has been toxic. Probably because I’ve been at Young Peoples’ or New Comers’ meetings and I’m a veteran of mental health treatment, I just feel like I’m operating on a different level than the people around me. A lot of these people sound like me when I was about 16 (and some of you may remember what that was like, actually). They need to leave their dogma at the door, it’s not helping anyone.
It’s interesting you bring up the 1st Step cause that’s what got me out. Someone told me to really reassess if I was powerless to alcohol, and that if I wasn’t I wasn’t gonna get anything out of AA.
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I’ve heard about stories of people who’ve been to AA meetings. It seems to be less “let’s help you overcome your addiction” and more “believe in God to overcome your addiction.” It’s basically gaslighting and religious propaganda.
You wanna overcome your addiction? Here’s an idea: Dump your booze down the drain.
EDIT: Here’s the full text of the 12-step program. They’re a religious organization in disguise.
I do think when it comes to removing addictions from your life, it’s important to replace it with something else. For many people, religion is an easy one, and There’s no reason to hold it against them as long as it helps them be a better person.
On a side note, when I consider my life choices in retrospect, it’s always the ones made with the insistence on my exceptionalism that did not serve me well in the long run. Thinking I was different was low key a way to dismiss solutions out of hand. Struggle is mundane, not sacred or unique. While we aren’t the same person, maintaining a beginner mind can help uncover new meaning in old things.
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I just want to point out that this really trivializes the challenges present in any substance addiction. If it were a simple matter of “dumping it down the drain,” we wouldn’t have addicts.
Addiction is a disease. You can’t just wish it away, much the same way that you can’t wish away cancer. We need tools and interventions to help people recover from it.
I don’t think that implication was your intent, but I thought it warranted a mention.
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Yeah, and also at the far end you can die from the withdrawal if it’s not tapered off. “Just deciding to quit” is fine for someone that can already go days without, but it could kill somebody else.
I can’t take you seriously if you have only read the 12 Steps.
This sort of word play is why I posted my list of definitions above. Addiction is loss of control of behavior. Implicit is the fact that dumping booze down the drain wouldn’t help. It does help with use, misuse and, abuse though.
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