Good luck. I really hope this works out for you.
3 Likes
Good luck with those medications. I hope everything goes well.
2 Likes
This isnāt quite a fail but I wanted to post it somewhere.
Iām delaying increasing my dosage of Estradiol by a month. My mood swings are too severe and unpredictable at this time to add more estrogen to my system. Iām not devastated, just a little peeved. My hair isnāt growing back after laser treatment, and my chest is developing nicely. Iām satisfied for now.
Also hereās a pic of me from right before I went on estrogen, cause I think I look pretty.
2 Likes
I might be rapid cycling. I was having 20-60 minute swings much of Thursday and yesterday. Thursday was the day I got inked so endorphins could explain that (maybe?) but yesterday was simply inexplicable. Called my psychiatristās office asking him to call me (he doesnāt get in until 1 so itāll be a while) so hopefully we can act on this today.
1 Like
Good luck Lizzie, weāre all pulling for ya.
3 Likes
So the rapid cycling is mostly gone. Sometimes Iāll have 15-20 minute mood swings, but theyāre much more moderate in degree than what I went through last week. But iām pretty steadily depressed most of the time, and tonight I realized a contributing factor, the realization of which is making things much easier. On some level Iām afraid this isnāt going to work. Iām not afraid of an exact repeat of last February, as I donāt think Iāll ever go back into the closet again, but I am essentially afraid that hormones wonāt agree with me and Iāll live with this masculine body for the rest of my life. Itās not gonna happen, but itās a very real fear.
Anyway, happy Trans Day of Visibility.
7 Likes
I fucking hate being asked my pronouns. Itās not bad in explicitly queer spaces, because everyone gets asked them. When Iām in a gender/sexuality neutral space and someone asks me my pronouns, it singles me out as trans, something which Iām not necessarily comfortable with everyone around me at that moment knowing.
3 Likes
Yes. This is exactly why we try to always share pronouns with everybody during introductions. We always share ours, and we always ask for theirs. Doesnāt matter what people look like, we always share. This normalizes it for everyone, so itās not just a thing that singles people out. Also why eveyrone should put it in their online profiles like Twitter bio and such.
5 Likes
Excepting people for whom such revelations might put them in significant danger.
In the cases where Iāve had to ask for pronouns, Iāve done it privately with the caveat of āonly if itās okā and volunteering my own in a kind of vulnerability-exchange. But itās definitely difficult in non-queer spaces, or when you have to navigate how much the other person wants to be out, and to whom.
6 Likes
I agree, but also this really shouldnāt be an issue for me due to how I present. I realize thatās not really self-evident on this text-only Forum, but my daily garb is a dress, I wear a lot of makeup, and I have (or at least simulate) a significant bust. Iām doing everything I can to try to visually scream āshe pronounsā and itās not working.
3 Likes
I donāt have a good approach to this conundrum, because boundaries are not transitive and cultures are not monolith. I know female-presenting enbies whose use ātheyā pronouns, so I canāt use the same assumption on you that I could on them. But I also know other women who are hurt when, as you have expressed here, people ask for their pronouns. Like, you fought so hard to assert your identity, only to have people ignore it.
So, my solution has been more conversation. I actively stop trying to make the assumption at all, and wait for the other person to give me the cue.
I havenāt actually incorporated giving my own pronouns yet like @Apreche has, so thatās probably my next step. I include it in my Twitter profile, so like thatās something, but I think the conversational use is probably useful, because itās behavior modeling and an indication that I am a āsafeā person.
But, thank you for saying something. Your feelings are valid and important, and I want to create an inclusive space, so this is something I needed to hear.
4 Likes
Thanks for the validation. Honestly, and I would never say this as a reaction to someone being mad I accidentally misgendered them, I kind of feel like if youāre touchy about pronouns you should have one of those pronoun pins. I know there are people who canāt wear those pins for safety reasons, but I also suspect those are people for whom itās not safe to assert their own pronouns in any sort of way anyway. I donāt mind when someone honestly mistakes me for a man. It happens frequently when Iām not careful about what jacket Iām wearing and how it affects my figure. Itās way less anxiety provoking to just correct someone like that, which many cis women have to as well depending on how they look, than it is for someone to ask me my pronouns.
1 Like
For people with work emails. Do you put your pronouns in your signature?
The thought occurred to me and I wonder if I should do it. But then again, it would be revolutionary at my job and I could get a speaking to.
A lot of businesses have VERY prescribed formatting and content for email signatures, youāre liable to get in trouble for it sadly, as good an idea as that is.
I understand that. I have yearly trainings for all the rules of conduct and didnāt see anything in my agencyās guide that really prohibits it.
Iām asking people in general.
I donāt even have an email signature for work (or home).
I havenāt thought about that, actually.
No, I donāt, and I think itās probably because our email signature format is so prescribed that itās never occurred to me to deviate from it.
It also doesnātā¦fit? That sounds really shitty, but I have no other way to describe it. Iām not sure where it logically goes, whereas with a social media profile it makes intuitive sense to me.
New York is also really big on not discriminating based on gender identity (itās part of several of our annual trainings), so thereās this whole state office culture where we donāt really pay attention to it? Kind of? Or at least weāre not supposed to. Like, my gender should be completely irrelevant on an email for work purposes, because thatās a personal and youāre not supposed to be prying into peopleās personal lives at all.
There are problems with all that, of course, but I think thatās whatās going on here.
Iāll have to ponder that more.
2 Likes
My signature, for reference:
Peter Olsen
Food Laboratory Specialist 1
NYS Department of Agriculture and Markets | Food Laboratory Division
1220 Washington Avenue, Building 6, Albany, NY 12206
(518) 457-3358 l [peter.olsen [at] agriculture.ny.gov](mailto:peter.olsen [at] agriculture.ny.gov)
http://www.agriculture.ny.gov
This message may contain confidential information and is intended only for the individual(s) named. If you are not an intended recipient you are not authorized to disseminate, distribute or copy this e-mail. Please notify the sender immediately if you have received this e-mail by mistake and delete this e-mail from your system.
2 Likes