The fact that pride even exists and has so many people celebrating in public is in and of itself a HUGE accomplishment.
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Iâll say this about Pride Month/Pride Festivals, etcâŚ
I attended one in Northampton, MA, last month, even though Iâm just an âallyâ (to use terminology from the Pride Pets kickstarter). It was super-fun and everyone there was super-nice and friendly.
Iâm all for any sort of positive festivals/months/observances like these. I wish there were more of them, frankly, and that the people attending them were just as nice and friendly.
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Iâm always wary of Pride events. I remember when I was younger, and for a lot of folk, the prevailing thinking was that Bi/Pan people who were currently in a non-same sex relationship were not welcome(And only grudgingly welcome if they were in a same-sex relationship), and were not really LGBT, it did not exactly make you feel particularly welcome or wanted. Puts a sour taste in the mouth for the whole thing, even though things are generally rather better now.
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I can understand that if some of that was going on in your experiences.
It seems like theyâve become more open, although an individualâs experiences may vary based on where they are.
Back in college, we used to have two dances sponsored by the campus LGBTA every year. They were both very welcoming to people of all stripes (so long as you werenât some sort of anti-LGBT asshole), and I even helped a friend in the LGBTA with some of the organizational work for one of them (she wanted me to make a custom AMV for them to project in the background while playing music) despite not being LGBT myself.
If bisexuals arenât really LGBT then, are they just assuming itâs LGT pride with bacon?
Thereâs a whole bunch of bullshit about how bi people in straight relationships âdonât countâ because they can âpass as straightâ or some horseapples. It is, as Churba once said, âTrying to be center ring at the oppression olympicsâ (i.e. trying to performatively be the most oppressed).
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Iâm not sure I agree with that anymore. Itâs been some time since I said that, and while the general thrust of my current thoughts arenât entirely different, I think that my previous remarks calling it essentially performative were too callous and cynical, I donât think itâs anything quite so conscious or planned. Or, in many cases, that mean-spirited. LGBT+ people can have blind spots just as large as the rest of people, and I think itâs a more complex issue than a throwaway line like that really encapsulates or accurately describes.
I know you joke, but youâd be truly stunned at how many people are still of the thinking that Bisexual people donât really exist, so much as theyâre just gay or straight people putting it on for some reason - for example, theyâre really gay, but theyâre just acting straight because of Internalized homophobia and self-hatred. I mean, Kinsey had a basic, well-explained handle on this in the 1940s-50s, but somefuckinghow, some folk just manage to stay stuck in the distant past. Like I said, blind spots.
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A fun thing is that thereâs a weird double standard for bisexuality, where itâs assumed that bi men are really just gay and embarrassed and bi women are just straight but looking for attention. Funny how it ends up with everyone secretly being attracted to dudes huh.
(Fun weird fact: Since starting HRT, I completely lost all attraction to men. I am no longer even remotely bisexual. I did not expect that. Kinda expected the opposite tbh.)
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Clearly, everyone wants to ride the D except straight men, who are always 100% straight, like two bros, sitting in a hot tub, five feet apart.
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AMEN
Although, I think itâs the general assumption of gayness = youth in terms of visibility. America (I canât speak for many other places) is particularly bad at community, especially cross-generational. (That said, one of my trans friends is on a first name basis with Wendy Carlos, and I was stanning hard. There are communities being forged out there.) LGBT+ is not immune to ageism, sexism, racism, or just transferring internalized pain and oppression onto others.
I want to believe my people are out there.
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Yâknow it takes much less maintenance to change your sex than it takes to change your hair texture. Sure, itâs more difficult to go through the hormonal changes of transitioning either way, but once you adjust you pretty much just keep taking the pills (or injections). Much more ongoing work to straighten curly hair.
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Iâm dressing like a girl today.The dysphoria is that bad again. If it persists (I think it will, it didnât go away the last two months it was just dormant) Iâm gonna ask my physician about going back to hormones when I see him in September. Probably gonna get speech therapy going before that.
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The fact that you have the option and feel free to exercise it gives me some hope.
Yeah, Iâm gonna have to consult my psychiatrist about this. The problem with the depression last time was that it was a crash from a borderline manic episode of several months duration. I wasnât prepared for the depression. If I started estrogen today, Iâve been dealing with a lot of depression symptoms the last few months anyway. Iâm kinda used to it.
Iâve been painting my nails lately and wearing them to work. So far Iâve gotten a few surprised looks but it hasnât been as bad as I was expecting. I also got some fucking dope ass polish in Harajuku which I <3
In an effort to maybe grow my hair out and not lose it all (this is extremely distressing TBH and a major source of dysphoria) Iâve started finasteride. We will see how it goesâŚ
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You looks great!
FYI Iâm identifying as female now. She/her pronouns, please.
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Hope everything goes well for you with that. Iâve heard it can be rough sometimes, and youâve also had a bit of a rough patch in the past, if I recall correctly.
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